When did I become half a person?

Did you ever experience one of those moments where you seem to suddenly become aware of yourself and your life only to look around and find where you were so drastically different than where you started? Well, if you haven't your missing out because, at least for me, it was such an amazing discovery that it's given me, for lack of a better word, closure. Eleven months ago this past Friday I was somehow able to pull the wool over Taylor Gail Lanning's eyes and miraculously con her into taking a chance on me. Well almost a year has passed and my life has changed in almost every way. Sure it was scary at first because it's not every day you put all you have into something without a second thought, but given the chance I'd make the same decision a million times over. So here I am, 20 years old going into my third year of college, and how am I spending my Friday nights? Am I hitting the bars with the boys? The answer is no, and I couldn't be happier about that fact. In fact on most nights you can find me laying next to my perfect girlfriend watching some sort of show, which we have dozens of, and talking about our miserable days at work. Most of my friends don't really get it and that's ok with me because all that matters is her and there isn't anywhere else I could ever picture myself. To get back on topic a little more, I noticed this weekend just how far I've come in life and just how much Taylor really means to me. She went home for a few days to see our families and it was torture to be away from her. It was during that time that I was jolted into consciousness long enough to see more clearly than I have in years. It came to my attention that after 11 months of laughter, love, arguments, making up, inside jokes, secrets, and adventures that "I" had ceased to exist and had become merely half of a whole that was she and I. I had become so blissfully ignorant of the outside world and my irrelevant past that I am now as we speak so wrapped up in what we have that I am amiss as to where she ends and I begin. When I said that I had found closure I don't really think it was an adequate enough term because it carries with the negative connotation that the realization I came to was one I wasn't happy about or the circumstances under which I had reached weren't exactly ideal. The truth is actually quite the contrary because this truth has done nothing but bring an overwhelming joy that can only be a result of anything to do with her. So I guess I answered my own question, I've become half a person for one reason. I tore down all my walls and let her in and we've become so tangled in love and lost in each other that we don't know up from down. It's that beautiful truth that keeps me going everyday in a vain attempt to be close to what she deserves.

Summer: The Good, The Bad, and The Economically Acceptable

Well it's been a while, but I'm glad to say I'm back folks. A lot has happened in the last month since I've posted, well actually I guess it really hasn't been that much. I've finally managed to find myself a job, or more accurately my roommate Brett managed to get me a job, at KFC in case you were wondering. Also school is out for the summer, and I for one couldn't be happier. No longer will I worry about making it to all my classes or doing some last minute studying before a test that I forgot about. No, from now on it'll be the easy, carefree summer life for me, but oh wait I've got a job now. Alas my dream of a lazy summer was short lived. However, I will quite enjoy earning a paycheck for the first time in over a year. To pay tribute to the namesake of this entry I'll break it down like this. The Good: To quote one Dee Snider of Twisted Sister fame, "School's out for summer!," and isn't it a momentous occasion worthy of such an angst filled anthem. No more morning classes, no more back and forth to campus praying to find a parking spot and make it to class on time, no more cramming for a test to the point that my already receding hair line seems to retract a few inches further by the time the day is through, and certainly no more of the anxiety that is the hallmark of the all too familiar wait for grades to be posted. No my friends all these things have passed, however momentarily, and the summer has begun bringing with it a time of celebration, recuperation, and preparation for the lurking beast that is the fresh semester waiting menacingly a few short months away. A wise man once said that in the end, it's not the years in your life that count, It's the life in your years. Say what you will about Honest Abe, but I think this summer I'll take his advice and live as much as I can and try to make it three months that I won't soon forget. The Bad and The Economically Acceptable: I decided I'd rope these two in together as essentially they encompass the same idea. The Bad I suppose would be that I have to work this summer. Yes my friends that's right the free ride is over and I have finally entered the herd with the rest of you and got myself a job. Some may ask why I've decided to give up easy street for a bright shiny name tag and a new cologne of fried chicken and grease, and to answer that I move forward to the Economically Acceptable portion of this post. I'm calling this whole "work" experiment Economically Acceptable because that is exactly what it is, a fiscally responsible venture into the working world that is both regrettable due to the nature of the work, and satisfying as a result of the pay check I'll be receiving with delight every two weeks. Yet the question remains why would I take on such a venture after having gone so long without a job. Well that answer lies in the beautiful green eyes I so often find myself getting lost in. Yes that's right I'm in love with the woman of my dreams and I don't plan on letting her go. So that is why I decided to join the everyday work grind so that I can ask her a question I think I already know the answer to sometime in the not so distant future....stay tuned.

5 Thoughts For the Day 3/31/2011

So I'm having a much better day today so I won't put you through any rants about teachers or rain, but I'll try my best to keep you interested nonetheless. My mood has improved in large part due to it being one of my favorite days of the year, yes that's right it's Opening Day folks. Can't you smell it? I sure know I do, as I sat in my dimly lit classroom this afternoon my thoughts strayed wildly to anything but the test I was about to take. Actually my thoughts transported me into that uncomfortable plastic seat we all call home during baseball season, and as my mind's eye continued to wander it jumped from the smell of the fresh cut grass to the roar of an enthusiastic crowd to the all too familiar calls for peanuts and ice cold beer. Then, without any warning, I was pulled from my delightful daydream by a noise reminiscent of a pistol marking the start of a track meet. I looked around and disappointedly realized that I was not in fact at the ballpark enjoying the view with a hot dog in one hand and an ice cold beer in the other. No, as it stood I found myself to be sitting in the back corner of terribly dreary corner classroom preparing to remember all I could about the Renaissance and the Protestant Reformation. Alas we can't always get what we want, and that brings me to my thoughts for the day.

1) College really isn't as hard as its cracked up to be. I mean for four years of high school I listened to the preaching of numerous teachers as they did their best to paint a gruesome picture that had me thinking I would scarcely get a chance to sleep let alone have a social life. So with four years of relentless indoctrination and a nice shiny diploma in hand I made my way south to Valdosta State University only to make a startling discovery. What was that discovery you ask, well much to my surprise I found that college was, dare I say it, easy! Indeed it soon proved to be easier than I could have ever imagined, and even though my GPA didn't exactly support this revelation (I'll blame a brief stint in a fraternity and the culture shock of going from living with my parents to being on my own for that) I still found myself failing to break into anything resembling a mental sweat. I raise this point mainly due to the fact that I took a test today for which I studied minimally for and ended up making an A on.

2) I have a friend, let's call him Jack, and he happens to work at KFC. Well it just so happens that every night when he comes home from work he brings with him about twenty dollars worth of "complementary" food. I guess I'm just wondering how a business can afford to lose that kind of product without taking some kind of financial hit.

3) I'll have to admit I wasn't exactly riveted the first time we flipped through the channels and landed on HGTV's House Hunters, but I'm more than willing to own up to my mistakes and say I'm now a fan. I honestly don't know what it is about the show that keeps me coming back night after night, but the fact remains that it does and to be honest Taylor and I can't get enough.

4) I love to cook! I don't know exactly when my passion for the culinary arts was cultivated, but I can say that in the last two years my skilled have seen vast improvements. If it were up to me I wouldn't have a single second thought about throwing caution to the wind, and dropping out of college to open my own restaurant. However those plans will have to be put on hold for quite some time, unless of course the Georgia lottery gods start showing me some favor that is. For the time being I'll have to be content with my retaining my amateur status as personal chef, and merely watching as Bobby Flay and Guy Fieri move in on my territory. Well that last part may be a bit of a stretch but what's wrong with a bit of optimism? Nothing right, my thoughts exactly, so in the mean time I'll continue to hone my skills to the tune of whipping up whatever cuisine I can for my family and friends and hope, as all dreamers do, that one day I'll catch my big break.

5) For my last thought I think I'll take the conversation to a more serious level, and that level is religion. I will gladly tell any who ask that I am a believer and that I have accepted Jesus as my personal savior. However, you will not find me on a street corner nor will you see me going door to door telling people that the way they live their lives is wrong and that they're going to hell. Even though biblically and spiritually that may be the truth it isn't my, or anyone else's place for that matter, place to make a judgement on someone's relationship or lack there of with God. I am a firm believer that a person's relationship with God is just that, a relationship, it is personal and it's just between you and God. I'll be the first to admit that I'm far from where I need to be in my relationship with God, but I know that he understands my struggles and that he'll never forsake me. I guess the thought is that if man were perfect, if I were perfect, then why would we need to rely on God as we do? That's just it though, we are anything but perfect, and all our hope must be placed in him we have any chance of navigating the obstacle course that is our daily lives. Just like life is a journey I believe that a believers' relationship with his savior is also a journey, and it is one filled with peaks and valleys but that doesn't mean that you should lose hope or despair because he's always there to be your guiding light and get you through what you might think to be the impossible. I'll conclude on this. I love God and I'm not ashamed to say it, and ever since I was young boy I've believed in him and nothing in this world has been able to shake that faith. I make my mistakes, but he is always there with love, compassion, and understanding which is why I know that nothing is impossible.

5 Thoughts For the Day 3/30/2011

I'll have to admit that I'm feeling a little crabby today. Maybe it's the torrential down pour or it could be the fact that I got up with the roosters this morning to register for classes only to find out that my advisor had not lived up to his end of the bargain and lifted my flag so I could register. All of that on its own is a formula for a crap day, but that compounded with the fact that I've been without Taylor for the last seven hours has resulted in my transformation, however temporary, into a 21st century Ebenezer Scrooge. I guess that's enough ranting for now so here we go with my thoughts for the day.


1) I know this sounds stupid, but I'd really like to know why we couldn't just put our heads together and try and find some substitute for rain. I mean really guys, have you ever had a good memory when it was raining? The answer, for those of you still scratching your heads is no. Absolutely, unequivocally no, so why might I ask is it such a stretch for us to get some of today's great minds together long enough to get rid of this nuisance, and then they can retreat into whatever cave they crawled out of and keep developing the next Ipod or social networking site (a worthwhile venture to be sure). To wrap this up with a nice pretty bow I'll say this, I hate rain, I absolutely despise it and wish it was gone. Which brings me too....

2) My next thought, which is the abysmal state of parking at Valdosta State University. In my two years at this university I've done my fair share mully grubbing about the pitiful parking situation, all to no avail of course. The saddest part of all is that the school had just recently spent God knows how many millions of dollars on the construction of a brand new six floor parking deck just the year before I arrived here in Valdosta. The problem comes down to convenience, and I'll be the first to admit that at the end of the day, if I ignore my tendency to be lazy, the walk really isn't all that bad. However on a day like today, when it seems as if the Native American population of southern Georgia has performed a rain dance, it really, really sucked. So please Valdosta State University officials, if by some miracle of fate your listening, make the parking a little closer to campus.


3) So I know it's nothing new to hear a college student, or any student for that matter, complain about his/her classes, but really is it too much to ask for a professor to show a film that was released sometime after the Cuban Missile Crisis? Granted the material is a bit dated, but is it so far out of the question that some company invest a little time and money making things relevant and interesting to students? For instance, this morning in my Perspective course, Georgia, A Spanish Borderland, we watched a video that was clearly older than nearly all my classmates and I. Also, not two weeks ago we watched a video detailing the find of an important piece of Native American history found along the Georgia coast that starred no fewer than three archeologists/professors that were, "no longer with us." I'm not asking for a Bill Nye the Science Guy archeology edition, but I am asking you not to give me Colonel Sanders from The Waterboy.


4) I'm ashamed to say it, but there comes a time when you can no longer live in denial. "Hello, my name is Andrew and I'm an addict." Now I know what your thinking, but please give me a moment to explain before you call Dr. Drew. I am completely and totally addicted to Call of Duty: Black Ops. My love affair with all things gaming was cultivated at a young age, and it has not been quenched even now as I am approaching my early twenties and the looming responsibilities of adulthood. However all I can really say is, so what? What harm am I causing other than to the other online players whom I annihilate with reckless abandon? None, is the answer your thinking of, not one. So why may I ask is it a problem for a man of my age to play video games? Well if you ask my lovely girlfriend, or any gamer girlfriend for that matter, you would receive a list of grievances that might possibly rival Martin Luther's 95 theses. So what's the solution guys, what is the compromise we must reach so that we can both appease our significant others, and still retain some alone time sending hot metal roaring through an enemy's head? Moderation! Yes, just as moderation is the key to padding your personal savings or removing a little padding around your midsection, it is also the key to finding that perfect balance between video games and the other, more important, aspects of your life.



5) Well let's just call it a day at 4 thoughts. It's late, I'm tired, and I've got a test in History tomorrow. 

A Trip to Jacksonville (And an inadvertent tour of the University of North Florida)

Did you ever just have one of those days where life just seems too much? Well I can say that I've had my fair share of them and most of the time the remedy is simply slowing down and breathing long enough to realize all the blessings I've been given in this life. I think that's one of the many problems plaguing the world today, we too seldom give thanks for what we do have and far more often obsess over what we don't. Well I'm happy to say that I typically have little difficulty in counting my blessings because I'm faced with the greatest one of all for the majority of my day. My girlfriend, Taylor Gail Lanning, is the most kind, caring, compassionate, and loving person that I have ever or will ever know and I thank God for her everyday. Having said that, it just so happens that we were both having one of those days or more correctly one of those weeks where it felt like we had taken Atlas' place holding the Earth on our shoulders. So when we both reached our tipping point Saturday morning we were struck by divine inspiration and decided to go to Jacksonville, Florida for the day. No plans, no itinerary, and no reservations which was just the sort slap in the face we needed. For the first time in what seemed like months, we let go of all our worries and our responsibilities and just did something. We didn't know what we were going to do when we got there, but by God we were going to get there and we weren't looking back. The two and a half hour drive seemed more like the length of a song for all I knew, between all the singing, laughing, and generally childlike behavior we barely had time to blink before the smell of the salty ocean air was upon us. After fighting some "wonderful" afternoon traffic we made it to the beach and headed toward the first seafood shack we could find. It just so happened we ended up picking a good spot and enjoyed a nice lunch of clam strips (Taylor) and a fried oyster po' boy. As we sat there and ate we looked out at the ocean and listened to the band play some reggae classics we both felt at home. I think she put it best when she said this, "Ya know how there are places where even though you have good memories of them, sometimes you have that one bad memory that ruins it? The beach is the one place where I have never had a bad memory, not one." She was right, when have you ever gone to the beach and not had an amazing time? After lunch we made our way to beach, and found a vacant spot and threw down all our stuff and headed off towards the water. Mistake! Let's just say that just because it's nice enough weather to be outdoors in doesn't exactly mean that it's warm enough to go jumping into the Atlantic Ocean, but you live and learn. After a few hours by the water we walked around the main strip and went to every shop they had (her idea of course) and finally made our way to a pizza place for dinner (our first experience with Chicago deep dish style pizza: amazing). So that was it and our day was done, we were refreshed and re-energized and had a calm, optimistic outlook on life. So we piled into my truck (which she affectionately calls Marty the Magic School bus because its yellow) and made our way home. Well that was our intention at least, as we were driving we looked off the roadside and saw a mall and came to the conclusion that we were young and there was no plausible reason why we couldn't just do it, after all today we were already rebels by our standards so why not keep with the trend? So to make a long story short we ended up getting lost, twice, looking for a gas station near the mall, and both times had to turn around inside the University of North Florida. Finally, we decided to just go to the mall and worry about getting gas late. Once again to make a long story short we wandered aimlessly around this amazing outdoor mall and got lost in the bliss of doing nothing but being together. With a full tank and a frappuccino in hand we made the long trek back home both becoming increasingly tired by the mile until we finally made it back and crashed into the bed with little in mind but how amazingly we would sleep that night. So after all that I came to the conclusion that sometimes all it really takes is to slow down and breathe, but sometimes you need to get as far away from the world as you can and get to that point where you can just hear yourself think and be at peace. Well I can say that this past Saturday I did and life just seems easier now, I guess it helps when you have someone who loves you to help shoulder the load too.

5 Thoughts For the Day 3/29/2011

There are always a lot of thoughts floating around in my mind, and this is where I'll share them with you. As my girlfriend often says, "I just have a lot to say, ya know?"

1) I really don't know why E*TRADE chose a talking baby as its main advertising cash cow, but I have to say I really can't get enough. "Apparently riding a small dog like it's a horse is frowned upon in this establishment!"

2) Doesn't it seem that you never feel guilty about not talking to your parents until you don't live with them? I guess now that I'm out of the house I feel guilty if I go to long without at least letting them know I'm alive.

3) Keeping with the family phone call theme, I really can't remember the last time my brother called me for any reason other than he needed something. I'm not going to complain though because that's actually a vast improvement from when we were younger, at least I'm not getting punched or given a noogie every 5 minutes.

4) Procrastination: Bad habit or Invaluable Skill? For the sake of my sanity I'll go with the latter and I'll say this, it may not be ideal, but I really think most of us work better under pressure, myself included. 

5) Last, but not least, for all you baseball fans out there here's my prediction for the 2011 season: The Atlanta Braves will win the National League East. I know I'm biased, but honestly all the Phillies have is a starting rotation. I believe the Braves will win the division, and make it to at least the NLCS behind a solid rotation, strong bullpen, and a new lineup and new energy provided by the arrival of Dan Uggla and new manager Fredi Gonzalez.